Anybody who is any good is different from anybody else

We are half ruined by conformity, but we should be wholly ruined without it.

There is no such thing as originality. We are always learning from and building on those who came before

We arrange our lives - even the best and boldest men and women that exist, just as much as the most limited - with reference to what society conventionally rules and makes right.

We don't need to worry about being different from or the same as others, we necd to worry about being ourscives.

The most difficult question to answer during job interviews is ‘tell me about yourself’. Not because we don’t have ‘selves’ or because we don’t have identities – but because we’re nor commonly asked to quantify our personal being and existence in the world verbally. It is our actions towards others and our behaviours within groups that define our identity. We do not possess an identity when alone and when our lives are not placed into the context of the society we live in. I find it very interesting that people are often taunted or denigrated for being unoriginal or ‘basic’ when they have strong interests in the things that are popular in society at the time. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with liking something that has widespread appeal – and whether it be a television show, movie, song, sport or other piece of media, it probably is popular because it has widespread appeal and many can relate to it.

There is an essence of gatekeeping here; when someone is aware of a small musical artist’s creative output long before they make it big and are known by the general public, they often feel a need to express that they were there before everyone else and have some claim of ownership over that person’s music. This serves the purpose of making them feel original; special.

I believe the same thing happens with identity in a general sense; we all like to believe that we’re unique and special, and this is what makes us worthy of the lives we lead and the achievements we have. We want to believe that we’re the most meritous in a meritocratic society, that we deserve special acknowledgement and stand out from the crowd. The reality is, that we all blend into the background amongst others because we are all special and unique. The only thing that makes us the same is that we are all not the same. There is no reason someone should be rewarded for being particularly ‘out there’ or breaking the mould of society – I’d even argue that there is no need for them to be noticed for an extra second compared to anyone else.

We have different skillsets and contributions to the world and who we are is what we do for others. Who we should be is not the most special or original person – we’ve already covered why that strategy simply won’t work against a background of other distinct and unique individuals. Above all else, we must strive for authenticity.

Authenticity is a nebulous notion, difficult to pin down and abide to. To me, authenticity is about telling the truth not to others, but to ourselves about how we feel regarding our own behaviour. Authenticity isn’t laying claim on a small musician or liking something very niche. It can be; but it is the attitude that you carry about liking that unpopular thing. It’s the acceptance that you like what you like, whether that be a TV show that nobody has ever heard of or the most popular band in the world. It is acceptance of the fact that what you like to do makes you happy, and that you choose to share that happiness with the world and make others more comfortable with sharing their genuine interests and not only displaying to others what they believe will make them more well-liked, popular, quirky, interesting or original.

There is no fun in originality when the personality you have constructed for yourself can’t be shared understood by others, or the originality stands alone of the joy living an authentic life can bring. Conformity and blending in is a shortcut to being understood by others in our society and those around us, and there is no point in standing out and being original when you stand so far out of the crowd that nobody is able to relate to you. You go from being a human to an object of observation, your desire to stand out having pushed you out of the mesh of society that conformity allows you to be embedded in.

Clearly, originality does not bring happiness when taken too far. Happiness is an experience tightly entangled with your ability to belong and relate to others in a society, which requires conformity. We must have some common ground. But there is no reason why that common ground should not be a basal level of acceptance of difference, that we are all the same because we are all not the same. Authenticity in conjunction with relatability is the only way we can find true belonging in society, and comfort with the people we find ourselves surrounded by. There is no use in striving for originality just to stand out and be special when those original acts are nothing more than an act – there is no point in trying to be special when it is a performance that deludes nobody else but yourself. The only thing worth striving for is self-truth – and that is what makes people shine amongst others.